Sunday, July 15, 2007

Global Warming

Tick



Train



http://www.fightglobalwarming.com/

Punny Lookin'

  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
  • The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  • When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
  • The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
  • A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
  • Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
  • We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.
  • The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
  • The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
  • The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
  • If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.
  • A dentist and a manicurists fought tooth and nail.
  • What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
  • A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.
  • Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
  • With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
  • When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
  • A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  • He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
  • A calendar's days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Think about it....

  • I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
  • I had amnesia once -- or twice.
  • I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
  • Did you know protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
  • All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
  • If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
  • What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
  • They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
  • Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
  • Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
  • One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
  • My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
  • I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
  • The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
  • How can there be self-help "groups"?
  • If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
  • Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a Man who can't get his pants off.
  • Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

The Landlord

The Landlord

Will Ferrell's landlady is crazy! Pearl is such a drunkard!!!