The Tortoise and the Tomato

Tortoise chasing a tomato

Really cute, but no audio...

Global Warming

Tick



Train



http://www.fightglobalwarming.com/

Punny Lookin'

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
• The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
• When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
• The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
• Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
• We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.
• The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
• The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
• The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
• If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.
• A dentist and a manicurists fought tooth and nail.
• What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
• A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.
• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
• A backward poet writes inverse.
• In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
• A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
• If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
• With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
• When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
• A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
• You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
• He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
• A calendar's days are numbered.
• A lot of money is tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
• A boiled egg is hard to beat.
• He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
• A plateau is a high form of flattery.
• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
• When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
• When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
• Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Think about it....

• I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
• I had amnesia once -- or twice.
• I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
• Did you know protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
• All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
• If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
• What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
• They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
• Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
• Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
• One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
• My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
• The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
• How can there be self-help "groups"?
• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
• Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a Man who can't get his pants off.
• Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

The Landlord

Will Ferrell's landlady is crazy! Pearl is such a drunkard!!!