Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Lipstick in School

According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the washroom and met them there with the maintenance man. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet bowl, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.


There are Teachers, and then there are Educators!

High-Tech Bar

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot.

The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"

The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"

The man answered "Oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'interstellar space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc.......

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tack.

He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."

Again it was superb! The robot again asked "What is your IQ sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh about 100."

So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this week end.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50."

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,

"A-r-e......... y-o-u-r......... p-e-o-p-l-e..........g-o-i-n-g...........t-o........ n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e.......... H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?????"

Sunday, September 17, 2006

New Study

A girl says to her boyfriend, "I read a study that said 90 percent of all men masturbate in the shower and the other 10 percent sing."

"Really?" said the boyfriend.

"Yes," said the girlfriend, "and do you know what song they sing?"

"No," replied the boyfriend.

"I didn't think so," she said.