Don't Worry Be Happy

You Know You're From California If...

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

David Letterman: Golf is Better than Sex

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....

• A below par performance is considered damn good.
• You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
• It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
• Foursomes are encouraged.
• You can still make money doing it as a senior.
• Three times a day is possible.
• Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
• If you live in Florida, you can do it almost everyday.
• You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And the number one reason why golf is better than sex.....
• If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it!

Eric O'Shea

Church Video Bloopers