Dog Food

My next door neighbor has a Labrador Retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at a Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food i s nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he roared with laughter staggering to the door and fresh air.