You Know You're Addicted to Coffee if...

• You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
• You sleep with your eyes open.
• The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
• You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away, without using the timer!
• You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
• You have to watch videos & DVDs in fast-forward mode.
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
• You chew on other people's fingernails.
• The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
• You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
• You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet!
• You can jump-start your car without jumper cables.
• You don't sweat, you percolate!
• You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
• You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in!
• You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
• People get dizzy just watching you.
• Instant coffee takes too long.
• You channel surf faster without a remote.
• You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
• You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
• You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
• Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale.
• You help your dog chase its tail.
• Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
• You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
• You ski uphill.
• You answer the door before people knock.
• AND the SUREST surest sign that you are addicted to coffee...
  You get a speeding tickets even when you're parked!