Great Quotes

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." -Lillian Carter

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister,and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning anda good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books.You may die of a misprint. -Mark Twain

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce -Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -Groucho Marx