Saturday, October 27, 2007
Official Announcement
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dick heads, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
The Prostitutes' Sign
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:
"Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same police officer in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50.00."
"Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same police officer in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50.00."
Friday, October 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Mother-of-the-Bride
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
Monday, October 08, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
This is what Sad looks like...
This is what Sad looks like.
This is what Sorry looks like.
Privacy Please.
This is what Forgetful looks like.
Mmmm, Toasty...
What was that? A little louder please!
I don't think I can hold it that long...
I can fit under there. Crunch!!!
Ow! My head!!
Sotp! In the Name of Loev!!
The Lights are on, but Nobody's home...
Everyone of Nearsighted in this town...
Ummm... Yeah, this one doesn't really need a caption...
Monday, October 01, 2007
We Didn't Start the Fire
Whether you are a Billy Joel fan or not, you probably remember his great song "We Didn't Start the Fire." Here it is, set to pictures--- someone had the patience to give us a quick history lesson
Turn up volume, sit back and enjoy a review of 50 years of history in less than 3 minutes!
Thanks to Billy Joel and some guy from the University of Chicago with too much time to Google!
The Video
Turn up volume, sit back and enjoy a review of 50 years of history in less than 3 minutes!
Thanks to Billy Joel and some guy from the University of Chicago with too much time to Google!
The Video
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