Friday, October 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Mother-of-the-Bride
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
Monday, October 08, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
This is what Sad looks like...
This is what Sad looks like.
This is what Sorry looks like.
Privacy Please.
This is what Forgetful looks like.
Mmmm, Toasty...
What was that? A little louder please!
I don't think I can hold it that long...
I can fit under there. Crunch!!!
Ow! My head!!
Sotp! In the Name of Loev!!
The Lights are on, but Nobody's home...
Everyone of Nearsighted in this town...
Ummm... Yeah, this one doesn't really need a caption...
Monday, October 01, 2007
We Didn't Start the Fire
Whether you are a Billy Joel fan or not, you probably remember his great song "We Didn't Start the Fire." Here it is, set to pictures--- someone had the patience to give us a quick history lesson
Turn up volume, sit back and enjoy a review of 50 years of history in less than 3 minutes!
Thanks to Billy Joel and some guy from the University of Chicago with too much time to Google!
The Video
Turn up volume, sit back and enjoy a review of 50 years of history in less than 3 minutes!
Thanks to Billy Joel and some guy from the University of Chicago with too much time to Google!
The Video
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Davy at Alamo
On that fateful day, March 6, 1836, Davy Crockett woke up and walked
from his bunk on the floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on
the West wall.
William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were there already.
The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards them.
Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and said,
"Jim, are we having some landscaping done today?"
from his bunk on the floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on
the West wall.
William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were there already.
The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards them.
Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and said,
"Jim, are we having some landscaping done today?"
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Gulls Gone Wild
A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.
The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
Customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of chips because they think it's so funny.
Look how much faster the bird walks faster on his way out!
Irish Priest
An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.
'Father,' he confessed, 'It has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.' This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied. 'Very well,' sighed the priest. 'Go and say ten Hail Mary's.'
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes.'
'Father,' he confessed, 'It has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.' This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied. 'Very well,' sighed the priest. 'Go and say ten Hail Mary's.'
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes.'
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