Things You learn in Southern Illinois

• Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
• There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Southern Illinois.
• There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Southern Illinois plus a couple no one's seen before.
• If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
• Onced and Twiced are words.
• It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
• Houses have "Winders" and "Windas", never has a window been seen South of I-70.
• People actually grow and eat okra.
• "Fixinto" is one word.
• There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is supper.
• Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.
• Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
• DJeet? Is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"
• You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
• You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
• You know the distance between stops on "The Wine Trail".
• You measure distance in minutes.
• You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
• You know who/which store has the best deal on cases of Natural Light beer.
• "Fix" is a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."
• All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
• You know what a "DAWG" is.
• You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.
• There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
• The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
• The first day of deer season is a national holiday.
• 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm." We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
• Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
• A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.
• Fried catfish is the other white meat.
• We don't need no stinking driver's ed, if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
• You know how to WARSH your clothing, but laundry is beyond you.

EVERYONE can't be a Southern Illinoisan; it takes talent. You might say it's an art form or a gift from God!