Sunday, July 08, 2007

Things You learn in Southern Illinois

  • Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
  • There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Southern Illinois.
  • There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Southern Illinois plus a couple no one's seen before.
  • If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
  • Onced and Twiced are words.
  • It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
  • Houses have "Winders" and "Windas", never has a window been seen South of I-70.
  • People actually grow and eat okra.
  • "Fixinto" is one word.
  • There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is supper.
  • Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.
  • Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
  • DJeet? Is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"
  • You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
  • You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
  • You know the distance between stops on "The Wine Trail".
  • You measure distance in minutes.
  • You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
  • You know who/which store has the best deal on cases of Natural Light beer.
  • "Fix" is a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."
  • All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
  • You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  • You know what a "DAWG" is.
  • You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.
  • There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
  • The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
  • The first day of deer season is a national holiday.
  • 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm." We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
  • Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
  • A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.
  • Fried catfish is the other white meat.
  • We don't need no stinking driver's ed, if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
  • You know how to WARSH your clothing, but laundry is beyond you.

EVERYONE can't be a Southern Illinoisan; it takes talent. You might say it's an art form or a gift from God!

1 comment:

Hallie NewCHEM said...

I'm from southern Illinois and I have to agree most of this is true. Lol.