An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff.... dad.... I became a prostitute...."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy,the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club.... (takes a breath).... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?! " says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, Sniff.... a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"
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