Dictionary

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish ........................ 49
Adventurous ............... Slept with everyone.
Athletic ...................... No breasts
Average looking .......... Moooo
Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure .... On medication
Feminist .................... Fat
Free spirit .................. Junkie
Friendship first ........... Former slut
New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places
Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs
Open-minded ............. Desperate
Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional .............. Bitch
Looking for Soul Mate ..Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want.
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not...
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later...
9. I am not upset = Of course, I'm upset, you f***ing a**hole!!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry.
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
3. I am tired = I am tired.
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage.
5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.