'Twas The Night Before Wilma

I don't know who wrote this. I didn't. I don't take any credit for it. But it's funny!

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'Twas the night before Wilma, when all through the state
Not a gas pump was pumping, Not a store open late
All the plywood was hung, on the windows with care,
Knowing that a hurricane, Soon would be there

The children were ready with their flashlight in hand
While rain bands from the hurricane covered over our land
And Mom with her Mag-lite, and me and my cap
Had just filled the bathtub for flushing our crap..

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the closet to see what was the matter
The trees on the terrace, and the neighbor's roof torn,
We feared we'd be dying in this terrible storm.

With a little wind gust, so lively and quick,
I remembered quite clearly our walls were not brick
More rapid than Eagles, her courses they changed!
And she whistled and wafted and surged all the same.

Off shingles! Off sidings! Off rooftops! Off power!
Down trees! Down fences! Down trailers! Down towers!
In the center of Florida, she continued to maul,
Screaming Blow away! Blow away! Blow away all!

As wind ripped and tossed, the debris through the sky,
I peeked out the shutters at the cars floating by.
So go to the safe room my family did do,
With a portable radio and some batteries too.

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the set,
The end was not coming for a few hours yet!
As I calmed down the kids and was turning around
Through the window it came with a huge crashing sound

A tree branch it was all covered in soot
The wind blew it smack-dab on top of my foot!
A bundle of twigs now lay in a stack
And my Living Room looked like it was under attack.

The wind how it howled, the storm very scary,
Myself and my family were all too unwary.
The dangers of hurricanes are serious you know,
They are taken for granted as Frances did show.

With the winds dying down and the danger beneath,
I noticed my tool shed was missing its sheath
So I grabbed my last tarp, and nailed it on down,
Then I got in my car and drove into town.

The traffic was awful and stores had no ice,
My 5-gallon cooler would have to suffice
Generators were scarce, not one left in town,
There were trees on the roads and power lines down.

FEMA was ready with people to work,
Electrical companies came in from New York.
I sprang to the car, and gave my family a whistle,
Then away we all went like a Tomahawk missile!

You could hear us exclaim as we drove out of sight,
"The hell with this place, Vermont seems just right!