Please find attached their price list, list of employees (with photo attached)
for identification and contact details should you be interested.
Cost - Who Cares? Worth Every Penny!
Employees - Who needs to know their names?!
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Car Wash
I have previously been getting my car washed monthly by someone from Jim's Car Cleaning. A friend recommended me to another company that comes to your home or office once a week and washes your car. They are really excellent and I have opted to use them and now have my car washed weekly instead of monthly!
Please find attached their price list, list of employees (with photo attached)
for identification and contact details should you be interested.
Cost - Who Cares? Worth Every Penny!
Employees - Who needs to know their names?!
Please find attached their price list, list of employees (with photo attached)
for identification and contact details should you be interested.
Cost - Who Cares? Worth Every Penny!
Employees - Who needs to know their names?!
Friday, April 28, 2006
Keep Your Mouth Shut
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
Jewish Memorial Stone
A Jewish woman's husband dies. He only had $30,000 to his name. After everything was done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is none of the $30,000 left.
The friend said, "How can that be?"
The widow said "Vell, the funeral cost me $6,500. And of course I made a donation to the shul ...that was $500, and I spent another $500 for food and drinks for the people when I was sitting shiva. The rest vent for the memorial stone."
Her friend said, "$22,500 for the memorial stone? Wow, how big is it?"
The widow said, "Three carats."
The friend said, "How can that be?"
The widow said "Vell, the funeral cost me $6,500. And of course I made a donation to the shul ...that was $500, and I spent another $500 for food and drinks for the people when I was sitting shiva. The rest vent for the memorial stone."
Her friend said, "$22,500 for the memorial stone? Wow, how big is it?"
The widow said, "Three carats."
Coded Message
After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive" from Ted Kennedy, Osama himself decided to send him a note in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
Kennedy opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:
370HSSV-0773H
Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
Within a minute the FBI cabled back with this reply: "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."
Kennedy opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:
Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
Within a minute the FBI cabled back with this reply: "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Men are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare! at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut blisters or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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